Muggle Barbecue
by Healer Pomfrey
Summary: Harry is having his first birthday party, a barbecue at the Dursleys together with the whole DA. But how did this happen? You probably don't want to know. Set in the summer after Harry's fifth year. Rating because of: Warning: CharacterDeath!Vernon


**Muggle Barbecue**

**_AN: Warning: This is not my usual harmless writing style. Please refer to the rating!_  
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Harry backed up into the farthest corner of his bedroom as Vernon came nearer, swinging his belt like a lasso.

"I will teach you to do your chores, you freaky, worthless brat," he growled, nearly causing Harry to gag at the smell of alcohol that reached him with every word. '_He's going to kill me_,' he thought as his uncle tried to hit him full force, fortunately failing and merely destroying the wardrobe due to his alcoholised condition. '_Voldemort is supposed to kill me, not you. I'm going to make barbecue out of you, before you can harm me_,' Harry's mind screamed, causing the boy to raise his right hand, the only of his limbs, which his uncle hadn't broken during the last few days since his aunt and cousin had left for a week of vacation with Petunia's garden group. Glad that he had practised wandless magic so much over the first half of the summer holidays, Harry transfigured his uncle into a huge piece of raw meat.

Harry froze on the spot. '_I really did that_,' he realised, terrified, staring at the huge piece of meat on the floor in shock. '_What am I going to do with that? If I transfigure him back, he'll surely kill me_.' He carefully stepped around the meat and sat on his bed to think over the matter. '_I know what I'm going to do_,' he slowly made up his mind. '_I'm going to have the first birthday party of my life, a barbecue party_.' He quickly wrote a note to all members of the DA.

'_Hello all,  
My relatives are away for the time being and allowed me to have a barbecue party on my birthday.  
Please come to my relatives' home at five o'clock in the afternoon tomorrow.  
Harry_'

He waved his hand to cast a copy spell on the parchment, before he cumbersomely tried to fasten the small pile to Hedwig's foot and instructed her to fly to Ron first. To Ron, he added a special note, asking him to use Errol for some of the parchments, so that everyone would receive his invitation by the morning.

In the morning, Harry set up a huge barbecue in the garden. He was just preparing sauce and vegetables, when Molly Weasley popped up behind him.

"Hello Harry, happy birthday," she said softly, before she stopped dead in her tracks as she got a good look at him. "What happened to you, sweetie?" she asked horrified.

"My uncle," Harry mumbled, absentmindedly glancing at the barbecue preparations.

"Harry, I'm going to take you to Hogwarts. Madam Pomfrey will be able to heal these injuries."

Harry sighed. "Thank you, Mrs. Weasley, but can we do that after the barbecue, please? This is my first birthday party ever and..."

"All right, sweetie. We'll do that in the evening. Let me help you now." With that she diligently cut the meat into slices and helped Harry prepare the barbecue.

The whole DA came, and the students enjoyed Harry's birthday party very much.

"It was very good; however, if you make such a barbecue again, it might be better to choose meat that's not as fat," Hermione advised him, causing the twins to roll their eyes.

"That was absolutely delicious," Fred and George reassured Harry, while they helped their mother and Harry to clean up everything afterwards.

When they were finished, Mrs. Weasley apparated to Hogsmeade with Harry and levitated him to Hogwarts and straight to the hospital wing, where she angrily told Madam Pomfrey what had happened.

The Healer quickly waved her wand over the student and healed his broken limbs, before she told him, "I'm going to keep you here until the Headmaster returns. I don't want this to happen again in the near future."

"He won't do that ever again," Harry replied firmly, profusely thanking the Mediwitch for healing him.

"Who knows what he'll be doing the next time, Harry?" Molly objected, throwing the Healer a concerned look.

"He won't. The barbecue was delicious, wasn't it?" Harry replied, smirking, before he became sick all over himself at the thought of the source for his first birthday barbecue.

**The End**

_I don't own any of these characters. J. K. Rowling does. I merely borrowed them just for fun and herewith give them back, relatively unharmed. I'm not a native speaker of English. Please excuse my mistakes._


End file.
